Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Normally chalets are meant to be a happy time spending wif all ur frens...But tiz time...e chalet reali sux...Its not fun..And me...feelin so lonely and stupid there...
Okie lets talk about my class chalet...Everyone before exams was so excited planning for chalet or BBQ but now look what happened?? How "MANY" of us went from our class?? hmm....2 hands is enough to count that...Its damn tulan lor...All plan properly...Say okie will go...Den wad happen so "MANY" of us were there man....So "CROWDED"...tulan anot...nevermind...I brought some frens over trying to make e chalet more lively...Its okie at e beginninng...But later.........nvm....Dun wish to mention it...All I can say is there is no reasons to be for another class chalet when everyone is putting everyone fei ji...Hey look here...We paid for it so we go...But den e rest din turn up...We made tiz chalet for u guys but now someone has to paid more den wad is one person is paying...Is it fair to him?? I don't tink so....I m feeling so tulan liao even before chalet...And now worst....
I reali love to koe something...Who are ur real frens and who is juz try to act like a fren to u??? I can admit something...I do wish to care for my frens...But I duno how to do so...I not so approach a kind of person ...i duno how to tok to someone...i not talktive kind of person...i duno how to communicate with people...so do they mistaken me for a fren for not caring for them or wad??Seriously life for me now is messy and complicated i duno wad i wan in life...everyday worrying for e same stuff....ain't sick of it if you were me?? Sometimes i even wonder am i a loner in tiz social world or am i left out from all mine frens?? i m speechless....bothered by everything..everything seems so useless , meaningful and hopeless for me...trying to be mysf again but i juz couldn't able to do it....even so its onli for a short period of time...why am i lidat?? Haix..!!!
All of us were kinda of happy....but den after they came....tings starting to be like i m thrown to one side?? i m being left out...i m alone again...am i feeling senstive again??? i reali duno...wondering why am i born in this world?? Wad am i doing in tiz world?? What is it that is waiting for me to do before everyting come to an end....??What am i suspose to be doing in tiz complicated and full of pain world??? Can anyone tell me e reasons of mine existance in tiz world?? And i dun get it....wen i smoke they make a fuss out of it...but why are they doing it too....do they understand y m i doing tiz....no!! no one koes expect mysf...What i wan is a reali LIFE and not e life i am living now...e whole nite i din slp at all....couldn't sleep....at times i sit up and look at her slping so sweetly and peaceful..even we 6 of us squeezed into one bed...i sit ther alone...looking at her slping...hoping that i m juz beside her...hugging her to keep her warm till she is aslp...but will it happen even after some time?? i juz feel that wen Z and N is ther...i m thrown to one corner...not even knowing i m ther anot....tiz is not being senstive or wad...but from wad it seems it is like tiz....they are like toking to each other happily and laughing ...but have they notice abt me?? i m ther hearing n smiling like one baboon juz for e sake of smiling....haix....i duno everytime i felt like crying...but couldn't cried out...haix........what LIFE man?? Hell someone pls tell me......
+ Missing And Loving You +
= Waiting For You =
* Hurt And Heartbroken *
posted at 1:08 PM
