Sunday, March 26, 2006
okie....lets start wif my day in e morning....feeling moody and low....cos of wad happen ytd n for e past 2 wks...tings changed tts y...n it seems tt both of us we unhappy too....but for her case i not sure wads wrong ba...work starts at 12pm....so yup....dun have e mood to work too....face was as long as a neck of a giraffe....no smiles or expression..but onli sadness...yup...my manager somehow notice it too...he asked me but i juz kept quiet...so enuff...i made many mistakes...for example...takin orders for customer....i tend to always write e wrong CODE for e food...tiz is not e 1st time but 3rd or 4th time le...haix...so he was angry...somehow my manager threw a little slightly bit of temper le....showin his stern face at me...i was ther without any expression n juz hearing scolding me lor....soon i walk away..stood at e counter ther...trying to smile at e customers...but den deep inside me i felt like crying out....guess i m too emotional ba....i wanted to cry but not becos manager scolded me or wad..is i felt i so useless....emotionally got hurt by her...but i controlled...so it stop....den manager was back to normal...trying to joke ard wif us again...but den i was ther emotionless again...haix..nvm....he notice abt me ba....he is a gd guy =)....after i end work...yuan kai told me to join dem at suntec to watch e superband...i wanted to go but i knew she will be ther...so i tot of not goin but deep down inside i wanted to go ther juz to see her...i was afraid she koe i m ther she will put her long face again....tts wad i dun like...i love her smilin faces....luffin n luffin.....haix....reached ther...yuan kai n frens waiting for me....haix...somehow got slightly better...but still e same ba....waited for e queue for e superband to enter e place....finally got in...n we took a spot wher e camera is n wher all e judges are ther too....omg....we will be on tv on e day tt is going to show e superband....-.- all of them were cool n done a gd job...at least they have e courage to go national tv to show their talents...i wish i could dance n sing like dem...haix.....life is reali unfair ba...enjoyed it throughout...din koe e ger tt yuan kai used to like was inside too....all dem disturbed him....shouting out his name wen its their turn(xin min grp is called glamours)...so ya he was so pai seh...haha...luckily e crowded was not very crowded...so i stood at e back watchin and at e same time will peep at her lor...=) after e show all of us we going off...n charlene her mood started to change...to bad...she is walking alone...i wanted to go over n tok to her n stuff...but i dun dare....i was afraid...to say wrong tings again...i dun wish we quarrelled again...all i wish was like e past...she will ask me out n i will find her out...hang ard n slack tog again....so is it possible to be lidat once again??? i have no idea....guess i have to learn to let loose a little le....cos i koe its abit pressuring for her?? cos i felt e pressure mysf too....=( so ya....tts all i can do for e moment while of cos keep on waiting for her till mayb 1 day e feeling is gone ?? wanted to sent her home...but she din wan me too...cos she said dun wan to trb ppl....eh...tt is one ting... TRB PPL?? wad does she mean?? dun wan me to send her home?? mayb?? duno...din tink of it until now....haha lame.....so walk out of e station den she is asking me to go home or else she will get angry...so i have no choice...juz have to walk back to e platform...cos i dun wish her to be angry or wad....i shd have told her before hand....so tings wun be like tiz?? haix....hard to koe wad she is tinkin..her mood can juz change anitime of e day....so i reali duno wad to do oso....haix.....trying to stay happy now...but i tink its hard....haix.....learn to let go abit ba....although i love her so much...wishin she is wif me all e time n stuff....so juz wait for e time to come?? but wen do i koe i stand a chance??????? BIG QUESTION MARK ????? well...hope tings will be better for now.....hope we can be like we were before... =)
+charlene once again i love u n miss u....u will always be on mine mind.... +
* Hurt And Heartbroken *
posted at 1:48 AM
