Saturday, March 25, 2006
today tot will be a gd day for me....starting off was still alrite...was hoping to see her after 4 days din met her...i tot i was going to be slightly feeling better...but i was wrong...everyting dropped to ZERO again....mood is back to e same old ting...reached somerset....she wen to buy someting...so i n nigel tot its okie if we smoke 1st..tot she wun see...but she saw....din say aniting abt it....okie...nvm...tts wen i ask her izt she koe i smoke...haix...why cant tings be like wad it used to be??? between us tings changed...change to worst...instead of gd...tts wad i dun wish for....why muz tings become lidat?? i reali duno.....a big question mark is in my head...e whole day looking at her....i wish i have some topics to tok to her...but it juz seems nth to tok to her...saw zhan n nigel tokin to her n she is smiling n smiling....yes i may not be outspoken...i duno how to show some1 how much i care for or love....but she reali mean alot to me...although i koe zhan n nigel dun like her...but i feel jeasousy in me...see dem toking happily...every guys will feel tiz way if some guys tok to e person u love tt happily...n u n her r not tog....tts human natural...all humans will feel tiz way....y muz it be me again...i reali feel hurt n pain already...everyday i have to do e same tings....i tot working will help me..but hell NO....always smiling to others.....but deep inside me i m so fucked up....kept tinking of her....while i m working like fuck...she is slackin wif others....sometimes i wonder...hu m i to her??? did she even care abt me?? she say if she dun care abt me she dun even tok to me....but look....how long did we both reali had a gd tok...a tok tt both of us is happy?? every nite i felt like crying out...but i cant...i m crazy over her...she means alot to me so much...y cant she give me n hersf a chance??? i reali duno wad she wants...why!!! She is the first to make me realise that she mean alot alot to me....i m already speechless....ther is no words to describe how i feel now....i m totally useless....such a loser i m.....y m i born in tiz world....suffer all e emotions n problems......Fuck IT!!!
+Char i reali miss you alot...do u koe how much u mean to me even though u dun love me!!!+
* Hurt And Heartbroken *
posted at 1:22 AM
