Wednesday, December 06, 2006
wad shd i say or post today?? i not sure...but ever since tt problem started...everyone is not happy...including ABCs....no one wishes tings to turn tiz way n tiz bad...all started out becos of me...saying all those nonsense....it happen once before n tings went bad...but tings were fine after tt...however...now i once again make e same mistake...y did i make e same mistake over n over again..?? muz it always be someone tt is close to me always happen tiz problem wif me?? y haven i learn any lesson from it?? i kept askin mysf these few qns over n over again these few days..
Firstly...why m i behavin lidat towards her?? being jealous over her frens ard her?Ans one: was becos i wanted attention from her...want to let her koe i m here but y m i seen like invisible??
Ans two: mayb i have fallen for her??
Ans three: i have gotten use to her by my side...without her beside...its like so quiet...n joy or laughter...
Ans four: she means alot to me such tt wen i lost someone i m close to i willing to do anyting to save it...which i m tryin to do now but i wasnt given a chance to save it...
Secondly...why did i always push ppl(guys) toward her trying to make dem to be tog?Ans one: cos i always tinks that tiz guys shd be able to treat her gd n happy...n ther is always topic to tok btw dem...but den end up me mysf n still me...being so upset abt it...n tinkin y i so stupid to do such thing...makin mysf so upset...thats e onli ans i can come out wif....Thirdly...Y i m being hurt so deeply by her actions n replies??Ans one: cos she is close to me such tt i treat her like mine owe sis...wen u koe ur sis is angry or upset wif u...wad would u do to make her forgive u n be close wif u again??? do everyting tt is possible to make her forgive u even to tt extend such tt die for her sake to save her at all cost....tts wad i m feeling now... Ans Two: i m not used wif her not ard me....tt is wher i shd learn to be less dependent on her...which means even she is not ard me i m still cheerfully enuff to live to e fulliest...and not always being upset n waiting for her to come comfort me n coax me....cos she wun be always be ard me...in short....she is someone impt to me that i dun wish to lose....even though i m badly hurt by her...all i can do is juz bottle it up n let it go n let days passes by painfully till i m numb....my heart is like thousand of knife piercing thru over n over...e ache can nv be gone till one day we r back to e old us...which will be duno wen...i took nearly an hr plus to write tiz post...although it may not mean anyting to any one...but to me....its precious to me....all i have now is memories of her once being close as bro n sis....n juz an overnight....boom all gone....i not sure hu is able to understan e pain i m feeling now.....take care shi jie...i'll be missing u at all times....
Labels: Hurt
posted at 8:26 PM
